A Charlie Waller Memorial Trust project
in memory of Matthew Wood and
Charlie's Blog Posts
An update and a look back over the year and blogring When I signed up for the blogring about nine months ago I was just coming to terms with my depression. I told someone for the first time how I felt just a couple of months previously, and I still had a vague feeling that […]
In fact I haven’t really been around for a while. Here’s how it’s all been going! If I’d written this a week ago, this entry would have been unbearably positive. I’d had about three weeks of feeling really, really good, and the only setbacks were completely natural ones, like the start of me and my […]
No, not one of the films Jacqui Smith claimed on her expenses, but an update. I didn’t want to wake up this morning. At all. I knew that as soon as I did I’d feel helpless, useless, pathetic. I’ve not had a very good few days. Yesterday was particularly dismal. I spent most of it […]
One month after starting anti-depressants. And it’s been an interesting month! Today’s the first of the month, and is also coincidentally the end of my first pack of Citalopram, so it seems a good time to post. I’ve got pretty used to taking it now, and it definitely helps. I had a bit of a […]
I never really thought I’d be the sort of person who takes anti-depressants, but here I am. It’s a bit silly really. I realise that being a GP’s receptionist can’t be too much fun what with all the ill people, but you could at least muster up a goddamn smile. None of the people there […]
No, not that sort. And counselling issues. You’d think that finishing exams would be a celebration, really. All done, no more stress and cramming, and even for some lucky buggers (me) a full week off! What could be better, I hear you ask? Well, something to do. My housemates have exams up until the end […]
Back to university in a couple of days, so thoughts on that. Also, I told my friends about my depression. This time in two days I’ll be back in *insert university location here*. It’ll be interesting. Not only do I have where-to-live-next-year issues, exams, and the restarting of the long-distance part of my relationship, but […]
Being back over the holidays and a bit about New Year It’s always weird going home from uni – you’re independent and have people around you who you’re on equal status with at uni, but at home there’s a definite power difference. I feel like I’m treated the same as my younger brother, and that […]
A few things I’ve realised recently. I’ve realised recently that it’s been about two years since my problems began. That was quite a shock. I hadn’t really noticed it had been that long. Things have been… okay recently. I’ve had more bad days than I’ve been used to though. And when I’m having one of […]
It doesn’t help anything. I am often called a pedant. I pick people up on their grammar (usually jokingly!), and take schadenfreudistic pleasure in correcting people when they’ve something wrong. I know it makes me a bit annoying sometimes, but it generally gets a laugh. Anyway, people are right. But it’s a lot more than […]
A bit of an overview of how things have been now I’ve been back at university for a month. So, that’s the first month down. Overall I think it’s gone really well, even though I had my first breakdown in months. That feels like a blip, and something that I can identify external causes for, […]
I suppose this isn’t really a post about triggers in that it doesn’t include anything that makes me actively depressed. But it’s about what I used to use when I felt that bad, and that certainly makes me feel… strange now. Everyone’s got something that really can affect their mood, right? Whether it’s something that […]
Everything’s been building up over the last few weeks: my course (and the silly high standards I set myself); my work (and the late nights and lack of free time); my newspaper work (unusually hard work recently due to circumstances/events. Sounds exciting, eh?). Last Monday (I think? I lose track) it all just got too […]
Counselling and stress 2.0 The internet ate my last attempt at this update, so let’s see. So, I had my first counselling session. I absolutely hated sitting in the waiting room – I felt like the people there were wondering exactly what issues had led me to be there. I was very tempted just to […]
I’m Charlie, and I’m 19. I read when I have the time, play guitar, and write for the student newspaper at my university. I had depression for most of my first year at university, but didn’t realise it until things improved over the summer and I was able to see how bad I had been. […]
Am I depressed?
- What's stopping you getting help?
- Consulting a doctor
- Feeling like you want to die?
- Understanding self harm
- Stressed, anxious, depressed?
Start Your Recovery
Understanding your depression
- Depression factors and causes
- Identifying depressed thinking
- Challenging depressed thinking
- Next: Self Help First Steps
- Understanding your depression
- Self help first steps
- Tackle depression