So recently I have been really struggling to keep things in perspective, really really struggling. I am a natural born worrier at the best of times but when things get on top of me i tend to worry about the littlest things and allow it to take over everything to the point where i lose sight of why I am doing something in the first place. Being in my third year of university I have a lot of work to do, but at the same time I have a life and relationships and work and family commitments too and sometimes it all gets a bit much.
I have found myself recently with itchy feet, eager to move on to the next step in my life, the next part, a few months back I wanted to hold off finishing my degree as long as possible and now i cant wait to finish. It is incredible how the human mind works, how you can change your mind so quickly and so boldly and new attitudes and ways of seeing things almost sneak up on you without realising.
I never really knew 100% what I wanted from life, what i wanted to do with myself after university and to some extent I still don’t, but over the last few months, my ideas and plans have started to evolve and change into something so exciting and great that I am really eager to get things moving and at the moment i just feel stagnant, like I am marking time waiting for it all to happen, as someone with a fairly obsessive personality this is really hard, I am totally impatient most the time and once i have decided i want to do something i usually want it right there that second and hate waiting. It is in the waiting I have learned that takes great strength of character, I have found myself getting worked up and upset and worried over the silliest things, my next shift at work, and mundane every day things, acting as though this is how my life will be forever, when in reality its just for the next few months, no time at all. I have wasted, days, weeks, and energy worrying and getting upset over little things that don’t even matter, and losing sight of the things that really do matter, my family, my future and the bigger picture. I think lots of people do this, sometimes it is hard to see beyond tomorrow and focus on the bigger plan you have for yourself, but it is so important to have goals in mind, so that when the mundane day to day rubbish annoys you, you can remind yourself it isn’t permanant, it is a just a means to an end, a stop gap, and remember what you are working towards.
Because I had been so stressed and worried about a job I won’t even be in 6 months I let my uni work slip and didn’t get a grade I should have done, I was so angry and frustrated at myself that it was a real wake up call, to get myself together and remember I have nothing to worry about, no body is in control of how I react to things but me, there is no point in worrying about something that is out of your control, over something that doesn’t need to be worried about, sometimes we allow nerves and silly worries to set in because its easier to deal with those than it is the really big things. But I guess that is my problem, I have never had a problem dealing with the big things in life, its always been the little things I worry about, which is ridiculous when you think about it.
So I am working really hard every day at keeping things in perspective, remembering the goal i have in mind and keeping it fixed in my head which makes the annoying things of today seem so much easier to deal with.
It’s a week today till christmas and I don’t know about you but for me it is a time to enjoy with family and friends and remember the important things in life. So if you are a worrier like me, a nervous person who frets, try writing them down, when you see them in black and white in front of you they dont look as scary as they are in your head, write down your bigger plans and set yourself a deadline for them and you always have a goal in mind then, trust me it makes it easier.
I hope everyone is doing great and enjoying the christmas break
Happy Holidays guys and here’s to an amazing 2014!