Well it’s my last blog. I can’t believe a whole year has gone by so quickly, my life has changed so much it’s all most unrecognizable now! I am so much happier now than I was last year, I have been able to deal with a lot of my issues that I never felt able to talk about, or put behind me before, that I felt were holding me back. I have found the Blogring a way of doing this, it has been hugely theraputic. Whilst I know I haven’t gone into a huge amount of detail about personal details in my blog i felt there was enough in ‘My Story’ and i saw my blog as an opportunity to be positive, keep everything i have been through in mind and move forward with everything. I think that is what I would encourage everyone to do, it is hugely important to deal with everything you have been through, obviously, but i think if there is something i would encourage everyone to do it would be to try and see the positive in those things and try and turn it into something good.
I know it might sound like a cliche, but it really is everything we go through that makes us who we are, and the age old classic ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ I have definitely found to be true.
I think if there is one thing I have learned it’s that I am no longer resentful of what happened to me, what I went through, I don’t regret the mistakes that I made anymore, I am glad I made them, I am glad they happened, i needed them to happy to get here, to be sat where I am now, doing what I am doing, writing this. I would never have achieved what I have achieved, I wouldn’t be who I am without any of those experiences, and i don;t like that thought. I love who I am now, I am proud of who I am, I am so much stronger than most people because of what i went through. My life wouldn’t have changed in the ways it has without all the pain i went through to get here. So to anyone who is really struggling right now, remember what i always say – go and talk to someone, don’t keep it to yourself, you don’t have to do it on your own, in fact that for me has been the best part, learning to let people in and help me, learning to trust others not to hurt me and seeing friendships and relationships blossom as a result has been amazing and I am so grateful to everyone who has helped me move on from what happened.
I do stil, get nostalgic and look back at what happened, and I do miss times that have gone by, times that were mixed in and amongst some of the hardest times in my life. It’s easier I think sometimes to look back, think it was better than it is now, it was easier, but it isn’t. I think whats important is to appreciate where you are now, no matter how difficult it might be, now is an opportunity to do something great, to help yourself, i remember when I was going through the miscarriage, I couldn’t even slightly imagine the end of the day never mind two or three years from then. I found it impossible to see or think about anything else other than what I was going through and it completely took over my life. And whilst that was an experience that shaped me into who i am today it was single hadnedly the most horrible experience i have ever gone through, the hardest thing i have ever gone through and i didn’t deal with it properly at the time. I didn’t talk to anyone, and whilst i don’t really regret the way i handled it, it doesn’t mean it was the right way, i should have talked to some body, about the situation, i told no body, no one knew, i completely isolated myself from everyone and locked myself away. Literally the worst thing I could have done. I want to encourage anyone who is in a similar situation please don’t do that, people want to help you, there is always someone who will listen and you really don’t have to be on your own, i know when you are depressed it seems like the easier option to be on your own, you dont want to deal with people, but these people aren’t just going to go away, so by making the first step and asking for help you are starting the journey of moving forward.
Asking for help – saying ‘this is too big for me to deal with on my own’ is not a sign of weakness it’s a sign of strength. You can’t do everything on your own. Trust me I have tried – it doesn’t work.
I hope that my blogs have helped some of you, even just one of you, I hope that someone who is struggling like I was can read through what I have written and gain something from it, some courage, some wisdom, some positivity to move on to the next step towards moving on.
Thanks for reading everyone
Have a great summer